You Can’t Pray the Gay Away
When I was twenty-seven years old, I attended a conversion therapy program in the Black church. I had recently broken off my engagement to a man and sought counsel from my minister, who recommended a program to me called “Jesus Heals.” He insisted it would clear up what he called the sexuality “confusion” that had resulted from my four years at the all-women’s Wellesley College.
Participants remained in the program for as long as it was believed necessary to “overcome” our same-sex attraction. I was there for four months with twenty-five other individuals who came from Black churches throughout all five boroughs of New York City. After enduring a litany of do’s and don’t’s, repeatedly hearing Saint Augustine’s famous admonition to “love the sinner, hate the sin,” and being told to take all my worries to Jesus and the altar in prayer, I emerged from the program with my first love—another attendee who was the lead female soloist from another church. The irony? Today, we’re both ordained ministers.
This was decades ago, before conversion therapy—a form of psychotherapy which purports to help LGBTQ+ people become heterosexual and cisgender—was widely renounced. I hoped these programs would stay in the past. In reality, they’ve continued to operate—and enjoy support from some of our highest levels of government, despite overwhelming evidence discrediting the practice as ineffective and harmful pseudoscience. Most of us who attended programs like Jesus Heals were isolated, confused and scared about our sexuality—and these programs unintentionally helped us form friendships, community, and in cases like mine, a romantic relationship.
In March, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Chiles v. Salazar that a therapist’s speech is protected under the First Amendment. The plaintiff, Kaley Chiles—an evangelical Christian and licensed therapist—argued in a prior appellate case that a Colorado law banning conversion therapy violated her free speech rights when working with young people “who have same-sex attractions or gender identity confusion” and who seek to “live a life consistent with their faith.” The ruling effectively upheld conversion therapy as a legally protected practice.
Progressive religious groups were quick to condemn the ruling. Marianne Duddy-Burke, executive director of a pro-LGBTQ+ Catholic organization called DignityUSA, minced no words in her statement released on the same day as the Chiles decision. “Throughout our more than fifty-seven years of ministry, we have worked with hundreds of LGBTQ+ people who have undergone conversion therapy,” she said. “Every one of them described it as a dehumanizing, horrific experience. Not only was it ineffective at changing their sexual orientation or gender identity, but it resulted in deep shame that many tried to treat with alcohol, drugs, or even suicide attempts. It took years to recover, in most cases.”
The truth is that conversion therapy is hardly new, and has long been inextricably tied to religious institutions. Modern conversion therapy—also known as reparative therapy—is rooted in the Christian ex-gay movement that was popular in the 1980s and 1990s, during which Christian institutions and media promoted the stories of activists who claimed to live heterosexual lives after “praying the gay away.” In 1997, more than two decades after removing homosexuality from its Diagnostic Statistical Manual as a classification of mental disorder, the American Psychological Association issued a position statement affirming that “homosexuality per se is a normal and positive variation of human sexual orientation.” Three years later, in 2000, the association took a formal position against conversion therapy.
In spite of rebuke from medical and mental health organizations, the conversion therapy industry continued to move with force in the 2000s. Methods of attempted treatment ranged from talk therapy to aversion treatments—including the administration of electric shocks and the induction of nausea or vomiting. In 2009, a task force from the American Psychological Association found little evidence that these practices had any impact whatsoever on sexual orientation.
To date, twenty-three states and Washington, D.C. have fully banned conversion therapy treatment for minors, and 56 percent of U.S. adults believe conversion therapy should be banned. Before 2025, the U.S. Supreme Court had declined to hear several cases involving bans on conversion therapy. But with support from the Trump Administration, anti-LGBTQ+ group Alliance Defending Freedom successfully argued for Kaley Chiles in favor of the practice.
The emotional and psychological harms associated with these programs are profound. They are linked to high rates of depression, anxiety, avoidance of intimacy, loss of faith, suicide, and the deepening of internalized self-hatred, among other damaging outcomes.
Conservative and anti-trans religious groups attempt to justify the practice by portraying LGBTQ+ people as disordered—a claim that is eerily reminiscent of the racist and sexist pseudoscience once used to deem Black people and women morally inferior based on supposed genetic deficiencies.
When it became clear that conversion therapy could not “pray the gay away,” as high-profile ex-gay activists recanted their support for conversion therapy and revealed that, in many cases, they had never changed their own sexual orientation, fear-mongering and pseudoscience alone became less effective tools for justifying discrimination against LGBTQ+ Americans. Now, religious proponents of the practice are reframing these efforts as “pastoral” or “biblical” counseling and protected under the banner of free speech.
The truth remains: Conversion therapies have an estimated failure rate of 90 percent. Numerous “ex-gay” organizations have shut down after their leaders publicly acknowledged their own sexual orientation or gender identity. And many prominent figures within the movement, who have labeled homosexuality as a disease for which they can provide a cure and claimed non-existent statistics of success, have since been exposed as fraudulent. In March 2011, Alan Chambers, then president of the renowned conversion therapy enterprise Exodus International, spoke about his sure-fire remedy for us LGBTQ+ prodigal children, and how his organization can help us reconcile our faith, mend our sinful lives, and finally walk away from our supposedly wrong-headed “lifestyle” choice. Chambers was a married man with two adopted children, and a purported ex-gay man himself.
But in 2013, in a public mea culpa about conversion therapy, Chambers wrote:
“For quite some time we’ve been imprisoned in a worldview that’s neither honoring toward our fellow human beings, nor biblical . . . . I am sorry that when I celebrated a person coming to Christ and surrendering their sexuality to Him that I callously celebrated the end of relationships that broke your heart. I am sorry that I have communicated that you and your families are less than me and mine.”
In 2013, Exodus International closed its doors. That same year, John Paulk—once a nationally recognized ex-gay figure—renounced the ex-gay movement and expressed remorse for the harm he caused. He stated, “I no longer support the ex-gay movement or efforts to attempt to change individuals—especially teens who already feel insecure and alienated. I feel great sorrow over the pain that has been caused.”
In confronting the cisgender, heteropatriarchal culture that persists in many conservative churches, Christian schools, and faith-based organizations where I am invited to speak, I often remind my homophobic and transphobic church-going brothers and sisters—seminarians, pastors, and professors alike—of three essential truths. First, as queer people, we are not children of a lesser God. Second, queer people can love Jesus as much as straight, cisgender people. And third, our existence is testimony that our lives are sacred, holy, and sanctified, too.
The practice of conversion therapy, no matter who imposes it, does not honor the beautiful tapestry of human diversity. It either attempts to fix us or erase us. That didn’t work for me, and it hasn’t for so many others.
A previous version of this article appeared in LGBTQ Nation.
Badenoch blasts 'moaning' female Labour MPs over Burnham jobs 'quota'
Kemi Badenoch has told Labour women to earn a job in Andy Burnham's Cabinet instead of demanding they are handed jobs because of their gender.
The Tory leader lashed out today amid reports that female MPs are demanding the de-facto new prime minister introduce a 50:50 gender split 'quota' in his government.
Amid reports that former foreign secretary David Miliband is being lined up to return to the role, possibly with his brother Ed as Chancellor, one female minister also complained that Burnham could not have 'more Milibands than women' in the top posts.
But in a scathing article in the Times today Mrs Badenoch told them to 'stop moaning' and get chosen on merit instead of retreating into 'more of the failed identity politics that is holding back our country'.
'There are many, many reasons why you shouldn't have any Milibands in the cabinet,' she said.
'But complaining that the boys haven't given them the right jobs or that the boys are taking all the jobs, just shows that Labour's women still don't get it.'
The idea of quotas was also attacked by Baroness Jacqui Smith, Labour's Skills Minister.
Asked by Times Radio if Mr Burnham should reserve jobs for women, she said: 'No, I think what Andy Burnham should be doing is building the very best team around him to change this country.'
A letter written by the Women's Parliamentary Labour Party has called on Mr Burnham to ensure a 50:50 split between men and women in government jobs
Amid reports that former foreign secretary David Miliband (above, right, in 2010) is being lined up to return to the role, possibly with his brother Ed as Chancellor, one female minister complained that Burnham could not have 'more Milibands than women' in the top posts
But Mrs Badenoch told them to pipe down and get chosen on merit instead of retreating into 'more of the failed identity politics that is holding back our country'
A letter written by the Women's Parliamentary Labour Party and seen by the BBC has called on Mr Burnham to ensure a 50:50 split between men and women in government jobs after he succeeds Sir Keir Starmer.
'We are asking you to demonstrate this change from day one and address the toxicity and misogyny within our own party and government,' it said.
Labour has never had a female leader, while the Conservatives have had three, and Mrs Badenoch urged the government to follow its meritocratic example.
'If you run a meritocracy, then you do not have to worry about jobs for the boys,' she wrote.
'Every woman who is a Conservative MP, every woman who has ever won the leadership, has had to fight to get where she is.
'By contrast, Labour women are demanding guarantees from Burnham. But the truth is he doesn't have to give any guarantees.
'If none of Labour's women are prepared to get their hands dirty and challenge him for the leadership, their demands are toothless.'
'In fact, it's quite revealing that the women's parliamentary Labour Party has written to Burnham asking him to commit himself to at least 50 per cent female ministers.
'This has nothing to do with meritocracy. It is yet more of the failed identity politics that is holding back our country.'
Venezuela Fury and Noah Price subsidising their life by livestreaming
Venezuela Fury and her husband Noah Price look to be making their own way in the world by raking it in from their lucrative social media accounts.
The influencer daughter of Tyson and Paris Fury, 16, has become an internet sensation after tying the knot with her husband Noah, 19, earlier this year.
Since getting married and moving in together the couple have been earning thousands of pounds a month, livestreaming their life as newlyweds in their static caravan in the East Riding of Yorkshire.
And fans can't get enough of their regular life updates on TikTok and Kick, which have proved to be very profitable for the pair.
They look to be supporting themselves after Noah denied that he was given £5million by Venezuela's family as a wedding gift.
Despite his wife's huge family wealth, an estimated combined £160 million, Noah recently told his Kick followers that he 'pays for everything' for the couple.
Making light of the claims about Venezuela's millionaire financial status, Noah said: 'I actually pay for everything unfortunately. You'd expect the millionaire to pay for it wouldn't you.'
Venezuela Fury and Noah Price are earning thousands livestreaming their caravan life - after her new groom insisted he pays all the bills and denied he had £5m handout from her dad
The influencer daughter of Tyson and Paris Fury , 16, has become an internet sensation after tying the knot with her husband Noah, 19, earlier this year
Venezuela then asked their fans: 'Do you think I am a millionaire?'
Noah joked: 'She isn't a secret millionaire guys', before she broke into song and sang: 'But I live like a millionaire!'
But it seems according to estimated calculations from their social media work, Noah and Venezuela can more than afford to support themselves.
Noah has been livestreaming on platforms such as Kick and TikTok, where viewers can send paid gifts or donations.
He was previously encouraging viewers to send gifts on his honeymoon during livestreams, suggesting this is one revenue stream.
Both Noah and Venezuela have built substantial followings on Instagram and TikTok. They can potentially earn money through sponsored posts, brand collaborations, affiliate links and creator payouts.
Kick allows its creators to take home 95 per cent of the £4.99 subscription cost that fans pay.
Streamers keep 100 per cent of direct tips and donations, minus minor standard payment processing fees.
It is unclear how many subscribers Noah currently has because this information is hidden, but he does have 7,200 followers which is publicly viewable.
An industry insider has suggested Noah is making around £400 per video on TikTok, while Venezuela is likely to make £2,000 due to her following count of 1.3 million.
An industry insider has suggested Noah is making around £400 per video on TikTok, while Venezuela is likely to make £2,000 due to her following count of 1.3 million
In one video on their honeymoon, Noah asked his followers if they'd give them some more gifts now that they were married.
In a TikTok live viewed by 20,000 he said: 'Keep liking our videos people, keep sending gifts.'
After saying thank you to several of his followers he joked they should stick around on the livestream and 'watch Venezuela punch me in the mouth'.
The other half of the honeymooning couple said: 'I am, honestly!'
Noah previously confirmed that the pair don't share their finances after they were asked whether they have a shared bank account.
'She earns her money, I earn mine,' said Noah, as Venezuela joked: 'Yeah, what you gonna do about it.'
Noah went on to debunk the rumour that Tyson gave him £5million when he tied the knot with his daughter as he insisted: 'No Tyson did not give me £5million'.
Meanwhile Venezuela is being eyed up by executives for a fly on the wall TV series.
Noah went on to debunk the rumour that Tyson gave him £5million when he tied the knot with his daughter as he insisted: 'No Tyson did not give me £5million'
Boasting 1.3 million TikTok followers, Venezuela is already entertaining fans with her honest musings and candid moments, from cooking to kitting out her and Noah's static caravan home.
And following the success of the Netflix series At Home With The Furys, it is no wonder bosses are wanting to draw on the Fury popularity.
A TV insider said: 'The couple are not A-list celebrities but everyone has become obsessed with their love story.
'People are genuinely intrigued by them. Whether it’s the fact they have married so young, Venezuela’s famous family or their gypsy lifestyle, they have the ‘X factor'.
'Several TV executives think a proper fly-on-the-wall series following their lives as newlyweds in the gypsy community would be fascinating,' they told The Sun.
It is thought Netflix would be likely to produce the series due to their already established relationship with the Furys.
Venezuela's representatives told The Daily Mail: 'We have many offers on the table regarding Venezuela which we are discussing.'
