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Jun 24, 2026

Dear Abby: My husband’s trauma is destroying our marriage

Dear Abby: My husband's trauma is destroying our marriage Email New York Post Read the Latest on Page Six

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Dear Abby

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Dear Abby: My husband’s trauma is destroying our marriage

By Dear Abby Published June 20, 2026, 3:00 a.m. ET
Upset man lying down
Dear Abby gives advice to a reader who is thinking about breaking up with his husband. fizkes - stock.adobe.com

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DEAR ABBY: I’m a gay man who has been married to a wonderful man for seven years (together for 12). Throughout our relationship, my husband has struggled with religious trauma that affects his desire (and ability) to be intimate. We’ve seen counselors, talked through it and addressed the value we place on physical intimacy. Nothing has changed.

I love him, but I remain unsatisfied with my needs unmet. This, combined with other things — including limited acceptance from his family and from many of those who live in our geographic area — has led me to push aside many of the issues in our marriage as “no big deal.” Until now.

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